Writings of a Radio mAD Man

Once there was a gentleman who thought an apple was an orange. And then there was the lady who, when asked to hand someone a banana, handed them a peach instead.  Well, these are people who either don’t know their fruit or simply aren’t paying attention.

Did you know there are also people who mistake radio ads for newspaper ads. For example, they buy time holes on radio but forget to fill them with radio words. Radio words, as you know, appeal to the ears, the emotions and imagination.

Imagine, filling radio holes with newspaper words: blah, blah, quality, blah, blah, blah and blah, value, blah blah, selection and convenience and blah blah buy some today. These are words that go to the head…if the head isn’t busy. It usually is.

Just as a banana is long and yellow, gets peeled in three or 4 moves and is soft to the mouth, radio is a storytelling medium that delivers action, drama, suspense and humor and goes ping to the heart.

And just as an orange is orange in color and juicy, a story touches the heart and engages the mind.

So if you don’t know the difference between radio and newspaper, you’re probably still squeezing a peach and expecting grape juice.

Come on! Use radio the way it’s supposed to be used: Grab attention, capture the imagination and, most of all, drop dull blah blah words and tell a great story.

Anything less is a waste of good advertising dollars. Ask the people who use radio a lot and make big delicious dollars.

You notice you just read a story. Imagine if you had heard it?

Dick Orkin & Christine Coyle
The Famous Radio Ranch

1. Keep it a secret – Don’t tell your employees what you are doing on the radio.  Don’t let them hear your ads.  Your customers who HEARD the ad will walk in and your employees will not know what they are talking about.
    
2. Insist on ordinary – It’s understandable that you want everyone to LIKE your ad.  So you want to make sure it includes all the words that will not offend or raise questions. Good thing it won’t stand out from the crowd.
    
3. Don’t incorporate it into your business – The unique selling message of your radio ad would be even less effective if it differs from the messages on your website, business cards, letterhead, print ads or TV ads.
    
4. Talk AT, not TO, your customers – Ads that speak to, and persuade, the heart of a customer are way too effective. By making sure your ads do a lot of talking or YELLING, you can ensure your customers will stop listening immediately.
    
5. Irrelevance is key – To truly stifle your radio ad and make sure it does you no good at all, make sure you fill it with things that your customers don’t care about.  Fill it with your hours of operation, number of locations, phone number, years in business, etc.  Whatever you do, don’t fill your ad with the benefits of your business and the end result of your product for the consumer.  If they start to envision themselves using your product and service and then they start imagining themselves being happier because of it, they will eventually come to you and expect to give you their money… and you don’t want that… do you?

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